A One-shot story: "November"
And there I was..standing on the stage, in front of many people, and then the music began to beat..
♫♫"Broken, this fragile thing now.."♪♪
I sung full of confusion and mixed feelings. The chorus starts to burst,
♪♪"Here I go ! scream my lungs out and try to get to you !" ♫♫
I felt the strum of the guitar with the beat of my heart, it's as if I'm going to cry while singing, but I deprived myself from crying. I saw HIM with the crowd, listening to my song.
After singing, my friends surrounded me along with my bandmates. They said I was great. Yeah, I think I was..great of trying and pretending to be happy. I walked out and walked away from them. Without any clue to where I will go,I sat on a bench near a tree, unnoticed by the crowd. But then, my eyes caught HIM. Clearly seen from where I am, there HE was with his friends..laughing and talking..having fun. I feel contended by just looking at him smile. He's so near to me, but his heart is so far.
Then, I saw HER. Walking towards them. I felt it again. The pain I was trying so hard to kill. Seeing her, he smiled and let her join their talk. I wanted so much to walk away but I don't know where I should go.. Maybe somewhere I could burst out.
Before I notice it, tears had already escaped from my eyes. I heard the host called our band for another song, so I stood up and went back to the stage to sing again.
♪♪"I will promise myself I won't care, distracting myself from your stare.." ♫♫
I saw HIM again, watching me sing. But this time, beside HER.. looking at me intently. As if he had never looked at me before.
♪♪ "I won't forget you! I'm not gnna let you win, but I'm tired of trying, tired of fighting you, and it's not gonna change.."♫♫
I cried as I sing. When the song had ended, I ran out of the stage and then again, lead myself to nowhere. I decided to go home. Tears keep flowing from my eyes. I hate myself. Why can't I let go? Why can't I move on the way he can?.. I just can't get over with it.
While walking, a hand grab me by the arms. It's HIM. I looked at him with eyes full of tears and confusion. He stared at me for seconds.Then the words "I'm sorry" came out from his mouth. I told him there was nothing he needed to say sorry for. Then, he suddenly hug me. It feels so nice to be in his arms again, but the pain of knowing it's not permanent shook me.
He said, " I'm sorry..because I didn't have the strenght to hold you back after you let go.. I didn't even tried. I'm sorry because I left you hanging while I find someone else to love.. sorry for breaking your heart.. for making you cry and for giving you this pain.. I'm really sorry, because I was so weak that I haven't found the strenght to say these words to you before, I know you still can't let go.. but you really have to.. I'm sorry if I'm saying this to you, I love you then, but I love her now.. please let go, I'm getting hurt knowing you can't move on.. You know I won't forget you, every memory we have will still remain, but please, set your heart free from this burden.. I'm sorry.."
I was speechless and I felt like I'm at the verge of dying. I had never thought he'll say those words to me. But listening to him as he cry his heart out, somehow, I felt a glimpse of happiness inside me. When I thought I'm going to finally break, he was there to help me move on, even if he won't be a part of me anymore. And now, I'm happy living my life. Acceptance help me move on and let go. And I have always thought that those things that happened to me back then taught me to be stronger in life.. :)
♫♫"Broken, this fragile thing now.."♪♪
I sung full of confusion and mixed feelings. The chorus starts to burst,
♪♪"Here I go ! scream my lungs out and try to get to you !" ♫♫
I felt the strum of the guitar with the beat of my heart, it's as if I'm going to cry while singing, but I deprived myself from crying. I saw HIM with the crowd, listening to my song.
After singing, my friends surrounded me along with my bandmates. They said I was great. Yeah, I think I was..great of trying and pretending to be happy. I walked out and walked away from them. Without any clue to where I will go,I sat on a bench near a tree, unnoticed by the crowd. But then, my eyes caught HIM. Clearly seen from where I am, there HE was with his friends..laughing and talking..having fun. I feel contended by just looking at him smile. He's so near to me, but his heart is so far.
Then, I saw HER. Walking towards them. I felt it again. The pain I was trying so hard to kill. Seeing her, he smiled and let her join their talk. I wanted so much to walk away but I don't know where I should go.. Maybe somewhere I could burst out.
Before I notice it, tears had already escaped from my eyes. I heard the host called our band for another song, so I stood up and went back to the stage to sing again.
♪♪"I will promise myself I won't care, distracting myself from your stare.." ♫♫
I saw HIM again, watching me sing. But this time, beside HER.. looking at me intently. As if he had never looked at me before.
♪♪ "I won't forget you! I'm not gnna let you win, but I'm tired of trying, tired of fighting you, and it's not gonna change.."♫♫
I cried as I sing. When the song had ended, I ran out of the stage and then again, lead myself to nowhere. I decided to go home. Tears keep flowing from my eyes. I hate myself. Why can't I let go? Why can't I move on the way he can?.. I just can't get over with it.
While walking, a hand grab me by the arms. It's HIM. I looked at him with eyes full of tears and confusion. He stared at me for seconds.Then the words "I'm sorry" came out from his mouth. I told him there was nothing he needed to say sorry for. Then, he suddenly hug me. It feels so nice to be in his arms again, but the pain of knowing it's not permanent shook me.
He said, " I'm sorry..because I didn't have the strenght to hold you back after you let go.. I didn't even tried. I'm sorry because I left you hanging while I find someone else to love.. sorry for breaking your heart.. for making you cry and for giving you this pain.. I'm really sorry, because I was so weak that I haven't found the strenght to say these words to you before, I know you still can't let go.. but you really have to.. I'm sorry if I'm saying this to you, I love you then, but I love her now.. please let go, I'm getting hurt knowing you can't move on.. You know I won't forget you, every memory we have will still remain, but please, set your heart free from this burden.. I'm sorry.."
I was speechless and I felt like I'm at the verge of dying. I had never thought he'll say those words to me. But listening to him as he cry his heart out, somehow, I felt a glimpse of happiness inside me. When I thought I'm going to finally break, he was there to help me move on, even if he won't be a part of me anymore. And now, I'm happy living my life. Acceptance help me move on and let go. And I have always thought that those things that happened to me back then taught me to be stronger in life.. :)
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